Every romantic relationship has its highs and lows, and each one must be worked at. However, if the lows become increasingly common, your relationship can become challenging.
If you’re in this situation and you’re wondering whether to work through it or maybe you’re now actually even thinking of leaving your partner, you might also be thinking ‘what point do I ask the question – should I stay, or should I leave?’
Relationships: The balancing act
Relationships can be both fulfilling and demanding. Trying to work out if you’ve hit a temporary rough patch or if the end is near can be particularly challenging. For marriages, the stakes are even higher, as ending one often involves legal and financial complexities. You’ll need to get expert help from divorce solicitors and explore ways to separate the life you’ve shared. Recent statistics show a steady divorce rate in the UK, with 27,000 applications made between July and September 2024. This shows that you’re not alone in making this decision.
Understanding when to persevere and when to let go is vital for your emotional wellbeing. But before you do decide, it’s vital that you evaluate the situation. Recognising whether your challenges stem from issues that might be fixed or deep-seated incompatibilities is the first step towards getting some clarity.
Values
At the heart of every lasting relationship are shared values and mutual respect. Take an honest look inward and ask yourself some key questions. What matters most to me? Are my partner and I aligned on the big things such as life goals, family, and personal growth?
If you find that both of you are consistently failing to give and receive equally, the relationship may be at risk. While external stressors like work or financial strain can sometimes intensify tensions, try to work out if these issues are temporary or hint at a deeper issue between you.
It’s possible to rebuild from a place of shared priorities, but only if you’re both genuinely committed to doing the work.
Communication
Open, honest dialogue will help you unpick problems. However, communication requires active and empathetic listening as much as talking. You both need to feel heard and understood.
If discussions are marked by defensiveness, dismissiveness, or unresolved arguments, it’s a sign that cracks are forming. Try setting aside egos and approaching conversations with curiosity rather than judgement. You may find that couples therapy can help you both open up.
If you make repeated attempts to bridge the gap and you still feel unheard or disrespected, it might be time to consider parting ways.
Passion
Passion and intimacy can differentiate a romantic relationship. While the level of passion naturally ebbs and flows, a complete lack of physical or emotional intimacy can signal deeper problems.
For some couples, losing the spark is not a priority. For others, it can wear away the bond entirely. Discuss openly with your partner whether this is something you want to talk about. Again, relationship counselling or therapy can provide valuable tools to enhance passion, but if there’s no willingness to do this, it may be time to move on.
Trust
All healthy relationships are built on trust. A single betrayal, whether through lies or infidelity, can break that trust for good. While some couples manage to rebuild over time and with effort, for others, the scars remain too deep.
Living with constant suspicion or unease can shake your emotional stability. If trust can’t be rebuilt, continuing the relationship often leads to more harm than good. Recognising this can be a painful but necessary step towards protecting your peace of mind.
Knowing when it could be time to go can be an emotional and difficult decision to make. It can also be complicated if you’re married. But it’s important that you take the time to address how you both feel and explore your options in order to decide if it can work or if it’s time to part ways.
Hope this is helpful, and always know you aren’t alone!
LL x
*This is a contributed post. As ever, all opinions are my own.
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